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Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone ~ twice in one day!

Saturday was the full moon in Virgo. I happen to be a Virgo. We Virgo's tend to be all about order and control. At least on some level. I also happen to be a Sagittarius rising (if you're unsure what that means, well, I happen to be doing an Intro to Astrology workshop in March... but that's not what this post is about.) Now Sagittarius folks are known for living out loud and being adventurous and free-spirited. You can imagine how wacky my world is having these two opposing influences. Or, maybe, you're saying, ahhhh, now I understand, now she makes sense.


On the one hand I love trying new things, but on the other hand I'm terrified of new things. Somehow I've managed to have some pretty amazing experiences in my life, but not without a bit of trepidation and inner angst (it's the side most people don't ever see). This past weekend I had not one but two totally-outside-my-comfort-zone adventures. One involved wearing a bathing suit in February. That right there should be horrifying enough, but that wasn't even the main challenge (I know, right?). The second involved going to an event that was not public and not "officially approved" due to it's hidden location (all very secret-secret, with a "you have to know someone" kind of vibe).


Despite leaning in towards these grand adventures, there's a huge part of me that needed to feel safe. When I do something for the first time, or am doing something without a lot of details provided ahead of time, you can be sure that I'm a bit on edge and I can't relax completely. I then have a hard time concentrating, and I miss what people are saying. I get all wrapped up in my thoughts and worries and can't pay attention. I also know, from the five years of my job doing education and trainings around trauma and resilience, that this is totally to be expected. When we don't feel safe our brains go offline, and though the threats may not be apparent, or seem huge when they aren't, we go into survival mode (the threat is in the eye of the beholder, only we get to decide what's threatening to us, it's not a comparison game). But what happens is when we feel threatened, all reasoning and our logical brain shuts down.


In both situations over the weekend this happened to me at different points. Instead of learning about the details and nuances of breathwork and a cold plunge (45°!) ~ I think there was something shared about the benefits of cold showers in the morning and warm showers in the evening ~ I was focused on wondering if I'd make a fool of myself and fail to get in or then be able to stay in the cold plunge (and don't forget the whole bathing suit in February thing). Though I did actually love doing the movement and breathwork part even if I didn't understand the effects it was having on the body ~ or whatever else was being discussed. There was also a sauna and that part I loved, I could have stayed in there for hours. (And, I survived the cold plunge!) But my brain missed most of the information that was shared.


At the evening event, we were told instructions on how to walk the mile plus route to the venue, but because I was nervous about going to a party at an unofficial location I took in very little of those directions. Now I can't be sure what was happening with my two friends, but they missed the nuances of the directions also, and we went SO off course. Luckily it was a full moon so we could see pretty well. But we realized we were "lost" at some point and backtracked and finally found some others on the correct route and got to the venue just fine. On our way back after the event, we couldn't believe how EASY the walk was, we definitely challenged ourselves trying to get there. LOL.


Despite these challenges, the adventures of the weekend were amazing. But I guess I just wanted to share all this because how someone appears on the outside may not line up with how they're feeling on the inside. They may be going through all kinds of levels of trying to feel safe and cool and relaxed but their insides are a hot mess. Staying present can be challenging. Trying new things, going on adventures, pushing past our comfort zones is no small thing. I want to acknowledge this. That I see this for some folks that come to my workshops and events. We have all kinds of things that make us shy away from tapping into our creative selves because somewhere along the way we didn't feel safe. So we never got started, or if we tried maybe we were made fun of, or told we were no good at something, or we messed up what we were creating and then judged harshly for it on top it all.


Of course it extends to everything we do. Not just our creativity. But I'm all about creating a safe and comfortable place for folks to try new things, to explore their creativity. Because I KNOW firsthand what it feels like to not feel safe. So if you're ever questioning your desire to be creative, just know, I got you. I see you. I know it's not always second nature. And sometimes it's terrifying and we shut down. But that's okay. It's more than okay. It's how we learned to keep ourselves safe.


Also? Knowing that so many people have experienced some kind of trauma at some point in their lives, whether personally, or in their community, or at a societal level, and this can affect how safe they feel? And that we all respond differently when we don't feel safe? It can look so different for each and every one of us. Instead of judging folks when they're struggling, let's be curious. Let's be understanding. Let's make sure we give some grace to everyone we meet. We're all doing the best we can. Compassion please, up front and center, all the time.





 

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3 Comments


Guest
Feb 29

Yes to this - thank you 🦋

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Guest
Feb 27

Terrific newsletter.

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Guest
Feb 27

Loving your blogs and newsletters. So creative and inspiring.

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