After last week's major block, I have so much to say this week. Funny how that works. I know I can't get to all of it in one post, so fear not, that means there will be plenty more posts in our future.
It seems that 2024 has decided to not tip-toe in quietly, hovering along the edges, blending into the wall paper. At least not for me at any rate. And it hasn't come galloping in an exuberant, wildly ecstatic, rock-n-roll kind of way either. More like a hard shove to the ground and a kick-me-while-I'm-down-there kind of way. (That would be the more punk rock way I guess?)
It started off by me losing one of my dear doggie companions unexpectedly, and this past week I've had a nasty case of Covid, having to cancel an inaugural painting workshop that I was so excited to kick off the year with. I'm really hoping that 2024 is just getting this out of its system for the year and we can shortly move in a more inspirational and encouraging way forward. Pretty please?
The thing is though, I'm the queen bee of silver linings. I can actually see the blessings in all of this. I'm meant to start out the year slowly, gradually, spending time within, and not rushing off to do all the things. Because let me tell you, I have a long, glorious list of "all the things." Part of me wonders if perhaps that's the exact message to heed most, to be present and purposeful, not blindly racing off to get all the things done. Maybe, just maybe, that list needs to be filed away in a safe and cozy spot and instead I look up and around and see what I might be missing out on rather than adhering to the 2024 PLAN I've concocted for myself.
I'll be the first to admit, it's an entirely different and strange way of doing things. It frightens me. And thrills me at the same time. Never one for sticking to the tried and true, trying out this new way of approaching my fledgling entrepreneur life has me wondering what the heck am I even doing, but also excited about all the possibilities. I'll do my best to keep you well informed as I try out this new approach. And if suddenly pivot off in some seemingly random new direction, you'll now understand why.
While holed up in bed with my box of tissues this past weekend I reflected on how I'm now at the point where I really want my days to reflect all those visions and dreams of how my life would be after years in a 9-5 office job. The first nine months after leaving that job I was busy hustling to make sure I kept busy and kept creating and built up this new business of mine. It wasn't sustainable, and now looking back, I'm sure I created some things just for the sake of creating them.
My days were spent "working," meaning, at my desk (or at the dining room table) in front of a computer crafting workshops and doing tangible things, checking off lists, and being *productive* (that word alone is a whole 'nother blog post). Sure, I'd take time to go have coffee with a friend, walk my dogs, or write in my journal, what a luxury to be able to craft my own schedule! But then I'd sit in front of my laptop in bed until 10:00 at night working on something, telling myself how wonderful it was to have the power to create my own work flow. But I'm sorry, working until 10:00 at night was NEVER my dream future. And get this, how often did I make time for making art? I did, but only AFTER I got my website updated, or my newsletter perfected, or my online shop fine tuned. Art still got relegated to the side! W.T.F?!
Right. Time for a major reset. I slowed way down during December, not only because I truly treasure this end of year ease-into-winter go-with-nature's seasonal vibe, but because all the things I had so diligently planned weren't working out. Nothing was happening the way I thought it was going to. Imagine that. And even though I thought I had taken that all to heart, I *may* have wanted to continue in the same vein as the new year got started, although with a more flexible and balanced approach. Yet...
So here I am, January inconceivably almost over, slowed way down by life, and I've taken this time to invite in all those many vision board dreams of what I've always wanted my life to look like. But INTENTIONALLY. Slowly. And with plenty of room left for spontaneity to work its magic upon me.
What do those vision board dreams look like you may ask? Just picture the archetypical wise woman in her woodland cottage with herbs drying from the rafters, futzing about chatting with invisible beings, candles ablaze, and a pot of soup on the stove. Except in my version she'll also be busting out her roller skates, attending the occasional goth event in her best black lipstick, and flying off on a regular basis to some foreign country or other to meet up with her witchy friends.
And she'll be making damn sure that she's creating art EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Boom. <grin>
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Busting free of the capitalist productivity brainwash is REALLY HARD...it's been decades in the making, after all. Like, since we were babies starting school for the first time 🙄. Ask me how I know. 🤣. I hope you feel better soon....in all of the ways....and here's to the art-first mindset! xoxoxo